there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
