Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
