i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
