bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
