eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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