your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just want to make out with him forever
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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