I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
