is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
kristin has been a bad kristin
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
