I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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