He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
