She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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