you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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