I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
