My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
