Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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