carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
