so explain again why im purple
no
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
