Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
