so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
