mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
