I hate your face
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
