i think my tv is drunk
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Randomize
