I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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