is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
