I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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