You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
