I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
