We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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