Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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