So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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