I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
