i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
