I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
