yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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