If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
