maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
