What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
