I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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