I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
