I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
