yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
