Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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