all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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