he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
