im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
