there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
