Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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