Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
