After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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