I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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